Our (Not So) Perfect Wedding

When planning a wedding nothing can go wrong, right?!  Well in our case we almost didn’t get married.  I’ll back up a bit and start from the beginning.  Joffrey and I got engaged 11 months (almost to the day) before we got married, so we almost had an entire year to plan.  Some people may not need a whole year to plan, but I could have used more time because of all the special touches I wanted to do.

The planning process didn’t go as smoothly as it could have for various reasons.  Mainly because Joffrey felt we had all the time in the world (11 months is a long time) and I knew we didn’t.  These two things caused the perfect storm between us and caused us both to internally rethink agreeing to spend forever with each other.  Thankfully we never had issues prior to this so we both kept our mouths shut and in the end got married and we joke about it now.

One reason we needed so much time was I wanted to make so many aspects of our wedding meaningful.  I didn’t want to look back on the day and say “that wasn’t really us” or “why did we spend so much money on that?!”.  For this reason, some of the pieces took a little more work.  An example was visiting 13 Florida beaches and collecting sand for our centerpieces.  Am I happy we did it now, HELL YES, but at the time it was the most daunting task ever!  There is a whole list of things like this and looking back I am very happy we did them.  It made our day mean more to us and hopefully our guests.

Things we did….

Save the Dates 

One of my friends sent me some samples of Save the Dates she wanted to order for her wedding (like 3 years before I even met Joffrey).  I liked the site so much, I saved it in my favorites for when I got married (it was bound to happen eventually, right?!).  To me, magnets are the way to go with a save the date.  It helps keep the date in front of everyone because it is in their face every time they get the munchies.  The site we ordered from is Magnet Street.  They have lots of great options and our order was shipped quickly.

Wedding Invitations

Most of my friends got married before I did and I had the honor of making many of their wedding invitations.  I knew when I got married I would want to make our invitations as well, so I did.  In the end they came out perfect for what I wanted.  It was a lot of work, but worth it!

If you are crafty, I highly suggest doing this as it can save a ton of money and the work can be done months before the wedding.  I ordered most of my paper from Paper and More and Paperworks and we got our envelopes from Envelopes.com. 

Accommodations

We spent an entire day driving around St Pete going from hotel to hotel in search of a great group rate.  What we found out was that the nicer hotels (and by nice I mean places people would want to say) did not offer a group rate.  We were very disappointed by this, but shared the rate information we gathered with our guests and also recommended Airbnb.

Our mothers each rented homes online (Airbnb or VRBO) that were conveniently down the street from each other.  These homes were big enough to allow for other family members to stay there and for us to get ready the day of the wedding.  It was perfect!

Welcome bags

Since our wedding was a destination wedding, we made welcome bags for all of our guests that included some necessities.  We wanted to show everyone some love for joining us for our weekend festivities as well as our wedding day!

• Bag
• Hangover kit (bottled waters, advil and mints)
• Cape Cod chips 
• Hand Sanitizer (who knew this would be such a popular item almost 4 years later)
• Lip Balm (people loved these!)

Pre-wedding Festivities

Because we got married on a Monday, we scheduled some activities for those that were coming up early.  It was a very laid back open invitation to anyone that wanted to come.  We did this so we didn’t have to keep track or make reservations.

Day 1: 

Rumfish for dinner and live music.  They have a beautiful aquarium and the best atmosphere for a relaxing night.

Day 2: 

Beach day (we got rained out)

Dinner and a night beach bar crawl

Day 3: 

Rehearsal Brunch

We were lucky enough to have a rehearsal brunch hosted in our honor by Joffrey’s parents at 400 Beach.  It was a lovely time with those closest to us.  We took this time to give gifts to our parents and wedding party.

3 Daughters Brewing for local beer and games

Beautification and Relaxation

Wedding Dress & Accessories

Wedding Day Gifts 

We decided to give each other something the day of our wedding to help make the morning a little more exciting.  Joffrey stayed up pretty late the night before making my gift and writing his vows (he’s a procrastinator, remember) while I slept peacefully (thankfully he told me his vows were already written or I wouldn’t have been able to sleep).

Venue

Unbeknownst to Joffrey, I had been secretly scoping out venues (months before we even got engaged) so that planning would go quicker.  I knew this would be one of the most important things to lock down early on in order for us to secure a date and I am SO glad I did this.  

Our venue must haves:

• Allow outside food
• Allow outside alcohol
• West Coast sunset

I found two locations in the St. Petersburg area that fit what we needed the St. Pete Beach Community Center – Boca Ciega Ballroom and The Tampa Bay Watch.  We ultimately went with the Tampa Bay Watch.  We fell in love with it and so did our mothers.  It was pretty much a done deal after that.  

From the floor to ceiling glass windows to the waterfront view from the deck and grounds, the setting is magical.  But the best part of this site is that it’s a non-profit organization dedicated to the protection and restoration of the Tampa Bay estuary.  By choosing this location we not only had the perfect venue, we also gave back to the community we fell in love with and that meant a lot to me.  Next year we plan to volunteer at the Tampa Bay Watch to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary!

Photographer

Pictures are one of the most important things in our life (yes, even Joffrey, he is the selfie King…King Joffrey if you will.  if you’re lucky we will share some pictures in the future).  This is the main way I remember the little details of our life and I knew this would be a big ticket item.  We met with 4 photographers and I instantly had my heart set on one.  Fortunately he (Jason Mize) was available and our pictures turned out even better than I could have hoped!  He has a great way of capturing moments in a way that doesn’t make it seem awkward or forced.  He even made us a short video using photos he had taken.  It was an unexpected and awesome surprise!  We would highly recommend him to everyone!  

Check out his site, you won’t be disappointed (almost all of the pictures in this post were shot by him)!  

Popsicles

We got married in the heat of the summer so our guests were able to hang out in the reception area prior to our ceremony, but we wanted to add a little something extra.  We brought in a popsicle cart!   Prior to the wedding, guests were able to keep cool while waiting for the ceremony to begin by eating one of the delicious creations from Tropicool.  The flavors were amazing (Pineapple Mojito, Coconut Chip, Pina Colada, Mango Passionfruit, Sea Salt Caramel and Strawberry Lemonade) and this was a hit!    

Programs

Another personal touch I wanted was our programs.  I designed them and included little tidbits of information to help keep our guests entertained (at least I hope it did!) while they waited for the ceremony to begin. 

Wedding Party

I learned so much from my friends getting married and selecting the bridal party was a big one.  So many of my girlfriends are no longer friends with their maid of honor.  I didn’t think this would be the case with me, but I picked someone who knows me better than almost anyone to hold my bouquet and fluff my dress…my brother!  We designated Craig the Bro of Honor and I chose 3 bridesmaids (Jaimee, Jen and Kristen).  Joffrey then picked 2 best men (Dom and LJ) and 2 groomsmen (Dana and Charles).  

The only conversation left was who would be our Flower Girl and Ring Bearer (side note: we had an adults only wedding).  When my grandmother was alive, I hoped she would be my flower girl, but that wasn’t an option since she passed away before I even met Joffrey.  I had the next best thing though, my partner in crime, Cecile.  She played the role of both Flower Girl and Ring Bearer.

Boutonnieres and Bouquets

More DIY projects… for the groomsmen and Joffrey, I made starfish boutonnieres and the  bridesmaids all carried Baby’s Breath bouquets.  

My bouquet on the other hand was a whole nother story.  I made a shell bouquet from shells I had collected over the years (some of which were my grandma’s and my great grandma’s) and some that I purchased from Shell Bazar in Port St. Lucie.  I also purchased some charms from Origami Owl (I also ordered bridesmaid gifts from here and they were perfect) so I could carry pictures of my aunt and grandmother down the aisle with me.

Vows

We chose to write our own vows and it was a great decision.  To all of our surprise and Joffrey’s disappointment I didn’t cry (I cry during commercials).  You just never know what is going to happen in the moment…you’re feeling so many emotions!

Confetti 

From the minute I saw confetti flying at my friend Denise’s wedding, I knew I wanted to have a moment like that in my life.  I am so happy we did it.  It was just as magical as I thought it would be!

Private Wedding Party Toast

Once the ceremony was over, we headed upstairs to have a moment with our bridal party while the guests headed to the reception area.  We used this time to tell our friends how much they meant to us with a champagne toast (I may have shed a few tears here).

Guest Book and Name Cards

Both of these ideas came from Pinterest… I made a photobook using Shutterfly and included pictures from our life and left blank squares for guests to sign.  I did this to make the book a little more engaging for guests and useful down the road.  The blank squares allowed each guest to have a designated space rather than finding an empty spot on a blank page or just signing their name.

I love the name cards we made.  They fit perfectly with the beach names and sand.  And, as a bonus, they were easy to make and set up!

Centerpieces

This might be the most unpopular opinion I have for weddings….flowers are a waste of money.  Don’t get me wrong, floral arrangements are gorgeous, but flowers die and they can’t be reused.  We chose to take a more meaningful (I’m super sentimental) approach with our centerpieces, which I know isn’t feasible in every situation, but it was for ours.

We chose to do lanterns filled with beach sand from beaches around the state of Florida that we visited.  We placed a candle in the sand and the plan was to light those candles….which we forgot to do.  We also had fun pictures of ourselves on the table, with shells, sea glass and a fish net.  The centerpieces were simple and meaningful to us.  

To tie the tables all together we had a large mason jar on our table that had sand from each of the beaches in it.

All the stuff some people find cheesy (but not me!) 

We wanted to have some tradition in our nontraditional wedding and a little cheesiness never hurt anybody.

Our First Dance

Brother-Sister and Mother-Son Dances

Speeches

Bouquet Toss

Garter Toss

Food

At a wedding, people only remember the food if it’s horrible or if it’s spectacular, so we knew we wanted to have something delicious that we both love.  We knew we also wanted to do something meaningful to us.  Early on in our relationship we went to food truck bazaars quite a bit and really enjoyed the atmosphere.  

Once we decided on food trucks, we started our hunt for the most perfect, most delicious hamburger that existed (that’s right, I wanted to eat a big, juicy hamburger in a white wedding dress before taking our couples pictures!).  We went to every food truck event that we were able to and I researched food trucks like a mad woman.  I finally found a hamburger truck (Around the World Burgers and reached out to the owner.  He was gracious enough to let us come to his house and cook us a couple of burgers and fries since we weren’t able to attend any of the events he would be at.  These burgers blew us away and he was able to accomodate a vegan option so we booked him right there on the spot.  

Now we know not everyone likes hamburgers so we had to find another option.  Joffrey found The Boom Boom Box that offered a vegetarian option and a chicken sandwich.  He went solo to check them out and knew from the first bite that this was going to be our second truck.  Joffrey’s aunt still talks about her black bean quesadilla to this day so I think in the end we did a good job picking.        

Alcohol

The key to getting people on the dance floor is good music and ALCOHOL.  We knew we wanted to have an open bar and strong drinks.  To us the only option was to hire our own bartender (Spunky Spirits).  They have nothing to lose with pouring a strong drink and everything to gain (TIPS!).  In the end, this was the best decision for us and we ended up having a lot of leftover alcohol, so it was a win-win.

Breakout photo sessions

After the rain (and a bite to eat) we headed out for our bride and groom shots.

DJ and Dancing

Another very important key to a good party is music.  Not only do you need music that is going to make everyone dance, you need a good MC that will announce the speeches, dances, cake cutting, etc.  This helps everyone (including the photographer) get in place to watch/listen, they did come to celebrate you after all.  After meeting with two DJ’s we ended up going with Eric Harding from Grant Hemond.  Eric was GREAT!  We gave him a list of songs we didn’t want played and told him what kind of music we liked and we were in a 90’s R&B (gangsta) paradise for most of the night.  The only thing I was disappointed with was not being able to actually dance and enjoy every song he played, but the DJ is really for the guests so it worked out.  

Cake

To make things easier we chose to have cupcakes.  We wanted people to get to pick their flavor and be excited about their choice!  This was also great because cake didn’t have to be cut or passed out, we just got straight to the smashing!  

The only issue was we weren’t sure how to display them.  My bridesmaid, Kristen, offered her husband’s woodworking services to make us a custom cake stand and it turned out even more beautiful than I could have imagined!

Photo Booth

We wanted everyone to have something to do during cocktail hour so we hung a backdrop and provided a ton of props.  This was an easy way to have a do-it-yourself photo booth.  

Wedding Favors

We knew we wanted to do something that was functional and could be used for many years to come.  What’s better than cups and koozies?!  They were both used at the wedding and many of our friends and family still use them today (including us)!

Wedding Night

We splurged a little on a hotel room at the Don Ceasar.  The Don is such a beautiful hotel with so much to offer.  The next morning, once reality set in that we were married, we explored the hotel.

Some more photos our guests shared with us…

Things we didn’t do…

Day of Wedding Planner

I’m a planner by heart, so I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to pay someone to explain to them what I wanted.  I looked at pricing and it was just something I wasn’t willing to spend money on.  In my mind, it didn’t benefit the guests so it wasn’t a deal breaker.  We had plenty of friends (don’t worry, I helped most of them when they got married, so we didn’t violate any labor laws) that were willing/forced to help and we were able to set up the inside the day before, which was perfect.

I will say the one thing I underestimated was the day of set up.  I figured the guys had so much time before our wedding (we got married at 5:00 pm) that it wouldn’t be an issue.  I don’t think it ended up being an issue, but it was probably the last thing they wanted to be doing.  Any way you look at it, we are eternally grateful for everyone’s help setting up (and tearing down) the day before and day of.  You made our day special and more meaningful with your labor of love.    

Videographer

I knew I wanted some moments captured that we wouldn’t be able to remember from photographs (our vows, the reception speeches, and the dances) alone, but I couldn’t find a videographer that captured exactly what I wanted in the way I wanted.  In the end we chose not to use a videographer.  Sometimes I regret it, but not enough to justify the cost.  Thankfully, one of my friends was able to video our vows and was exactly what we needed (shout out to Chris)!  

Because the day is such a blur, pictures and videos are very important, so if it’s something important to you, I say do it!  You will see things you didn’t even know happened because you were preoccupied with something else.

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The only tip we have is make it your own and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks.  In the end, it’s your day and you have to make it special and memorable for you.  Now I’m not saying don’t do special things to make your guests feel welcome.  I’m just saying don’t let judgments from others discourage you from making your day meaningful to you (as hard as it may seem at the time).  It is, after all, a day to celebrate YOUR love for one another.

If you made it this far, congratulations and …

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Where will your next adventure take you?